Ichiro Beard...Kinda

I don't really know what I was thinking calling this one the "Ichiro". All my time in Japan, his face was everywhere, so you would think that I would have his beard all figured out. But now, looking back through pictures, whatever beard shape that I thought he was sporting, I was wrong. That doesn't mean that there still isn't value to this beard (although there isn't really). I wanted to get it down to a super fine, Back Street Boy-esque chin line, but my skillz, patience, and razor weren't up the challenge. So all we get is this lousy excuse for a midweek blog post. But never fear: flag day is just around the corner.

Tuesday April 28 2009

File under: beard

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on Wed 29th Apr, 2009 06:06 am PDT Kat said: I agree with the part in the ( ) ************************ on Thu 30th Apr, 2009 11:49 pm PDT Juline said: Good call, avoiding the Backstreet Boy beard. ************************ on Sat 02nd May, 2009 08:31 pm PDT Joe said: that pretty boy backstreet beard was called a "super thin douchebag beard" on some show i was watching the other day, wish i could remember where i heard that hahaha ************************ on Tue 26th May, 2009 12:27 pm PDT Radar said: That show would be Family Guy ************************

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Ridiculous beard 5712

If on initial glance, this doesn't look like it should fall into the ridiculous beard category, good because I'm actually leaving the house wearing this one (unless I chicken out here in the next couple hours). And if on initial glance this didn't look ridiculous, you probably don't get the timeliness of it. Try hovering your mouse over the image and see if that helps. Get it? I debated on whether to go with the heart goatee or try to work some cheek hearts (possibly connected to the sideburns), but I think this turned out well.* A special thanks to Deanna for doing the fine trim and shaping work. I simply don't have those art skillz. Last time it was a special beard for Halloween and now for Valentine's day. Maybe next time I will shoot for my beard tribute to Flag Day.

Saturday February 14 2009

File under: beard

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on Sat 14th Feb, 2009 06:47 pm PST Joe said: haha...nice, i really hope you left it like that. ************************ on Sat 14th Feb, 2009 09:36 pm PST Saxtor said: Impressive, yes. Creepy, YES! ************************ on Sun 15th Feb, 2009 06:44 am PST Mom said: Hey, great beard! Next time around try working that deep dimple into the design, eh? ************************ on Sun 15th Feb, 2009 03:19 pm PST Root Mama said: I can't wait to see what trim you'll come up with for flag day. ************************ on Sun 15th Feb, 2009 08:29 pm PST Sweet Julie said: Aaawww, Wren! You are so sentimental! I always get so excited when I see a Wren-facial-hair blog posting!!! I think they are my favorites :) ************************ on Sun 15th Feb, 2009 11:41 pm PST Horge said: Two words: Columbus Day. Can't wait to see your beard on October 13! Maybe a "drawing" of Mr. Columbus on one cheek and the Santa Maria on the other. Then for Halloween, you'll probably have enough new hair grown back to turn him into a scary pirate with a pirate ship. If not, make him a skeleton... ************************ on Mon 16th Feb, 2009 03:05 am PST Dave said: Wren, I'll incorporate you into a lesson if you can do Pearl Harbor Day. ************************ on Wed 18th Feb, 2009 12:25 am PST Juline said: That cracked me up. Nicely done. ************************

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Rate My Mullet

I'm usually not one to dress up for Halloween, although recently, I've been getting more into it. When I commented recently how I was due for a hair cut, someone suggested that I do a mullet for Halloween. A good idea is a good idea, so I put the plan into action. Since a mullet by itself isn't really a costume, I tried to branch out a little. This is what I came up with. 72 hours later and the mullet and mustache are still here. The question is how long should I keep it? Halloween is slowly growing on me. While it used to be one of my least favorite holidays, I'm realizing how neat it can be when you surround yourself with creative, cool people and lots of candy. I hope you all had a great Halloween too. (If you have any leftover candy, I know someone who could give it a good home.) (P.S. Occasionally, over the weekend, I joked about rateMyMullet.com not knowing that it is a real site. Weird.)

Monday November 3 2008

File under: holidays, beard

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on Mon 03rd Nov, 2008 01:55 pm PST Saxtor said: The solution to your "how long?" dilemma is wearing it until it is no longer a mullet. Granted, the terrible memory of your actions will be remembered for generations to come, but eventually the mullet shall pass. ************************ on Mon 03rd Nov, 2008 03:37 pm PST Joe said: lol...awesome! you could've been Jeff Foxworthy and told redneck jokes all night. ************************ on Mon 03rd Nov, 2008 11:00 pm PST Joe said: you should do a skullet next. while ya got it goin on ya know? ;-) ************************ on Mon 03rd Nov, 2008 11:30 pm PST Horge said: At the least, if you decided to shave your shlong haircut, trim it into a rat-tail and photograph it for us :) ************************

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Further Beard Adventures

If I had been thinking, I would have staged all photos the same. As it was, I was thinking it would only be that first one (which I really like). But then more hair started coming off and looked pretty ridiculous, so I had to take further pictures still. Anyway, since I can't take a beard picture that I don't post, here they are. (Maybe someday I will outgrow this childishness, but I doubt it.) (Oh, and for those composing their Hitler themed comments, I'll pre-emptively* point out that many famous people sported the toothbrush mustache, both before and after Hitler gave it a bad name)

Thursday October 16 2008

File under: beard

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on Thu 16th Oct, 2008 09:49 am PDT Sara said: haircut? :-) ************************ on Thu 16th Oct, 2008 01:45 pm PDT Saxtor said: Yes, Charlie Chaplin comes to mind... ************************ on Thu 16th Oct, 2008 04:04 pm PDT Chris said: I've noticed that you suffer from an affliction where you lose your shirt whenever you shave. You should see a doctor about that; or maybe a tailor. ************************ on Fri 17th Oct, 2008 09:45 am PDT Jenn said: Whatever Chris, you know you take your shirt off at every opportunity, so I wouldn't go pointing the finger. The first and second pictures make me think you might have a future guest starring My Name is Earl. ************************ on Fri 17th Oct, 2008 11:40 am PDT Saxtor said: I'd say they're more Morgan Spurlock* ************************ on Fri 17th Oct, 2008 06:11 pm PDT Sean said: Add some sweet mullet to the mix! ************************ on Sat 25th Oct, 2008 02:23 am PDT Joe said: This is one of my favorite things about you Wren! Your ability to come up with new disguises after about a week's growth. haha. I vote for handlebar mustache. That's awesome. ************************

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The Cycle Continues

It was time to shave. And since I can't shave without doing something stupid/fun, and since I can't do something stupid/fun without taking a picture, and I can't take a picture without posting it, here you go. Note to fellas: How come I am the only one creating and posting ridiculous beard pictures?

Wednesday August 6 2008

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on Wed 06th Aug, 2008 01:48 pm PDT Nesbitt said: It would take me two years to actually grow the beard. ************************ on Wed 06th Aug, 2008 03:14 pm PDT Saxtor said: Well, for starters, facial hair is serious business. You're the only one clowning around with the whiskers. And much like a tree falling in the woods, I still believe that "goofy" facial hair trimming does not count unless your friends are able to marvel at its magnificence...in person. ************************ on Wed 06th Aug, 2008 07:14 pm PDT nathan said: here's a dumb mustache picture for you - its a bit dated, but it retains its stupidity quite nicely if you ask me . . . http://picasaweb.google.com/nathan.mcneil/ThisDrawer/photo?authkey=Ol3d8CPfbtU#5231593077045425330 ************************ on Wed 06th Aug, 2008 07:15 pm PDT nathan said: try this one: ************************ on Wed 06th Aug, 2008 10:11 pm PDT Wren said: I had to do a double take on that one. I didn't recognize you at first. That is awesome!! ************************ on Wed 06th Aug, 2008 11:00 pm PDT Saxtor said: V, is that you?! ************************

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Chops

A couple of weeks ago, a few good beard links passed through the what's-hot of the internet. 1. Great creative video. (It puts mine from way back to shame.) 2. A fellow documents his pursuit of every beard type. Since it coincided in timing, more or less, with my bi-monthly ridiculous beard shave, I took a little inspiration and this is what I came up with: mega chops, mustache, and uber soul patch. I wore this ridiculousness to frisbee but got enough stares that I deemed it a little much and quickly removed the rest. I can't go around looking like a fool all the time.

Monday June 9 2008

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on Mon 09th Jun, 2008 10:39 am PDT Saxtor said: Man, you're WAAAAY too self-conscious about your facial hair. I think more than a few "hey, cool chops"-type stares are being misplaced in the "hey, check out that freak" bucket. I'm just sayin'... ************************ on Mon 09th Jun, 2008 10:41 am PDT Wren said: The gauntlet is thrown, Saxtor. Let's see your chops! ************************ on Mon 09th Jun, 2008 01:00 pm PDT mandy said: are you serious saxtor? wren self-conscious about facial hair?? did i miss something?? saxtor and i are totally on opposite ends of the facial hair issue. shave, shave, shave! the beard design and the backdrop and the outfit make you look so scary!! ************************ on Mon 09th Jun, 2008 01:56 pm PDT Sean said: Dude, I didn't shave on Saturday until almost 11. Yeah, what's up now? ************************ on Mon 09th Jun, 2008 06:28 pm PDT Wren said: Sean, pictures, man. We want pictures! You would look awesome with a beard! ************************ on Mon 09th Jun, 2008 07:43 pm PDT Saxtor said: See, that's the weird thing about beards. Most people don't acknowledge my non-bearded state. Yet, it was only a little over a year ago when I had a facial hair configuration not very unlike the one displayed above, sans mustache of course. *cringe* All that said, beard-free sucks. Gauntlet REJECTED! And Sean, I think you should play this angle. ************************ on Mon 09th Jun, 2008 10:42 pm PDT Amanda said: I kind of like it Wren- 'specially with the bandana. ************************ on Tue 10th Jun, 2008 10:00 am PDT Jon said: Thanks for the link to that Popcorn video. That was pretty awesome. ************************ on Wed 11th Jun, 2008 11:29 pm PDT Joe Wilbur said: dude i thought that was the coolest shit ever, and i'm pretty sure i told you so. :-) ************************ on Fri 13th Jun, 2008 07:56 pm PDT Sarah said: My Name is Earl--I mean Wren. ************************ on Fri 20th Jun, 2008 06:29 pm PDT Ryan said: A fitting documentary if you haven't seen it http://www.growinabeard.com/ ************************

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Amish Awesomeness

I would make an awesome Amish person...maybe I was this close to keeping this version of my I'm-gonna-shave-my-whole-beard-off-so-why-not-do-something-silly-in-the-meantime* beard. I think the Amish were really onto something with the whole mustache-less beard. As for the other parts of being Amish, I figure I would fit right in. I don't really drive, so the lack of automotive technology wouldn't bother me. I can raise a barn like nobody's business*. Regarding the lack of electricity, it isn't like I use a fully electrified computeratrolatron for all aspects of my life. Oh wait. Maybe I will just go with the beard. Since the Amish-style beard didn't turn out as silly as I had hoped, I had to go ahead and capture the neckbeard. Before you laugh*, please note that lots of famous people throughout history wore neck beards: Henry David Thoreau, William Tecumseh Sherman. While I may not be a fancy philosopher or Civil War enthusiast, I can at least kind of pull off the beard of one.

Sunday March 16 2008

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on Sun 16th Mar, 2008 11:07 pm PDT Sweet Julie said: So Amish, I love it! I double dog dare you to wear the neckbeard next time you grow out the facial hair. Keep it for like a week, preferably one that you are doing a lot of public transportationing (and collecting cans)! :) ************************ on Mon 17th Mar, 2008 10:01 am PDT Saxtor said: Excluding the unkempt grizzly adams, the neckbeard is the pinnacle of facial hair styles. ************************ on Mon 17th Mar, 2008 12:44 pm PDT Sean said: Now shave the top of your head and the sweetness will be complete! ************************ on Mon 17th Mar, 2008 01:41 pm PDT Amiel Martin said: wow, I never heard of the wbr tag, good to know about it ************************ on Fri 21st Mar, 2008 12:07 pm PDT mandy said: i don't care how you design it, facial hair grosses me out! glad it's gone, but too bad you are too! ************************ on Fri 21st Mar, 2008 06:46 pm PDT jenellewhattheheckisonthatguysneck?!?! said: frightening. ************************

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A New Look

Adopting a new look can be a very empowering experience. It proves to yourself that you are still in control and can change your situation whenever you want*. For me, a new look pretty much only means shaving my beard*. I find myself shaving my beard at times in my life when I need a little empowerment; to prove to myself that I am still in control of something. Or sometimes I just shave because I am starting to look* overly ridiculous. This time was a little of both. But instead of doing the old clean-cut Wren, I thought I would try something a little new. Mustaches are all the rage these days. Jason Lee in My Name Is Earl wears one. Tom Selleck in Las Vegas wears one. Why shouldn't I wear one? (not that I plan to either be in a trailer park, jail, or Las Vegas anytime soon.) Anyway, I figured this look is better than my previous idea at a new look. (If I only had the nerve...) Plus, nothing says "Hey ladies, check me out" like an awesome mustache.

Monday December 10 2007

File under: beard, misc

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on Mon 10th Dec, 2007 10:14 am PST Saxtor said: NO! No, no, no, no, no! Mustaches are a scourge on society and must be eradicated. If it is true that "all great men have mustaches*, the only great man is John Waters. A beard, a goatee, neckbeard, sideburns, muttonchops, or even one of those pencil thin "beards" the dudemars all wear, are all better than the Freddie Mercury/Village People/overzealous police officer-type mustache. Just say no, Wren. ************************ on Mon 10th Dec, 2007 12:18 pm PST Chris said: Saxtor, that's big talk coming from a man whose hair could probably trap more people than the Bermuda Triangle! ************************ on Mon 10th Dec, 2007 03:40 pm PST Kat said: I think you mean "hey ladies check me out" ...and run the other way :) ************************ on Mon 10th Dec, 2007 05:13 pm PST cardboard said: Oh man nice looking stash buddy. With a reaction like that from saxtor we should all do up some stash right quick. ************************ on Tue 11th Dec, 2007 05:02 pm PST Jule said: have you ever thought about a job in law enforcement. the state patrol comes to mind. ************************ on Wed 12th Dec, 2007 08:13 am PST Sweet Julie said: If you were driving a white van with no windows in the back, you would Really creep me out! :) ************************ on Wed 12th Dec, 2007 04:18 pm PST Andrew said: Yeah. Cause who would be creeped out by a mustached weirdo driving around in a scooter that he calls "Scoot-Scoot". ************************ on Mon 17th Dec, 2007 08:04 pm PST Sarah said: Didn't you star in "Anchor Man" with Will Ferrel? ************************ on Wed 19th Dec, 2007 12:49 am PST Siri said: Don't let the naysayers get you down. I think it looks distinguished. Plus, it's a much better option than the first "new look". ************************

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April Fool

or click here to go directly to YouTube page

Saturday March 31 2007

File under: beard, video

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on Sat 31st Mar, 2007 08:51 pm PST Mom said: How did you keep such a straight face with that crazy yoddler music in the background? ************************ on Sun 01st Apr, 2007 11:15 am PDT Andrew said: ha! amusing! ************************ on Sun 01st Apr, 2007 11:35 pm PDT Saxtor said: GRRRRRR! I'm so mad I'm shaving my beard! Maybe this yodeling will lighten the mood....nope! GRRRRR! ************************ on Mon 02nd Apr, 2007 07:30 am PDT amanda said: you look older, more chiseled and i never knew you had a dimpled chin or an adam's apple. this video is great! ************************ on Mon 02nd Apr, 2007 05:50 pm PDT Jule said: I never knew you had a chin or lips! when was the last time you shaved that? ************************ on Tue 03rd Apr, 2007 12:26 am PDT Horge said: What a great prank, Wren! You really had me going... After I watched it the first time I thought you had developed the ancient art of ventriloquist-yodeling as an addition to your act of shaving with juggled knives. But then I realized it was April Fool's Day, and you hadn't really shaved at all. In fact you developed the ancient art of ventriloquist-yodeling as an addition to your act of juggling bits of hair and glue to attach to your face, and then just put the film in reverse. You clever guy, you! ************************ on Wed 04th Apr, 2007 07:24 am PDT Wren said: For more comments (from complete strangers), check out the youTube page for this video. ************************ on Wed 04th Apr, 2007 05:02 pm PDT Saxtor said: I roofled, but then I hated it.It really does go to show how widespread YouTube is. What would the circumstances be behind someone finding, and later commenting on, a few day old video of someone shaving his beard? Were there any comments on your slideshow video? Are you the next LonelyGirl14? LonelyGuy15, perhaps? ZING! ************************ on Wed 04th Apr, 2007 05:43 pm PDT Jule said: You know that looney tunes character, the friend of Marvin the martian, the red one who is only red hair and eyes? Then marvin chases him around with a razor and shaves him ? I'm just saying, you ever seen that one? ************************ on Sun 08th Apr, 2007 10:49 pm PDT dave said: how did you yodel with your mouth closed? ************************ on Wed 13th Jun, 2007 07:47 pm PDT Auntie Rose said: eeeks, what you doing there bud, trying to scare us all? ************************

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Having a beard is fun

Shaving it off is even more fun.

Sunday September 10 2006

File under: pics, beard

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on Mon 11th Sep, 2006 12:16 am UTC Saxtor said: I do not approve of this self mutilation! Now you look like Morgan Spurlock. ************************ on Mon 11th Sep, 2006 01:27 am UTC jule said: that looks awesome! are those dreadlocks? I couldn't wear a mustache without mom mocking me into shaving it! rock on! ************************ on Mon 11th Sep, 2006 04:40 am UTC Trista said: You have the most beautiful blue eyes. ************************ on Mon 11th Sep, 2006 05:45 pm UTC Saxtor said: Wren, I didn't know you were going to Asia to become a logger! It just got real sappy around here.... ZING! ************************ on Thu 14th Sep, 2006 02:36 am UTC jule said: and my what big teeth you have! ************************ on Sun 17th Sep, 2006 05:04 am UTC Andrew said: oh dear god. is this what we'll see in Thailand? ************************ on Fri 22nd Sep, 2006 03:47 pm UTC Auntie Rose AKA: the O J lady said: Were you growing a Fu Man "Coup" in preparation for Asia??? ************************

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