How to Skin a Coconut

One of my favorite things to do in the tropics is to find and open a coconut the way nature intended: with no tools. Mano a coco. I don't really like the flavor that much and I don't do it to save money on food. No, I just really really (really) love the concept: something so ubiquitous that you find them on the ground almost everywhere yet so difficult to get to without the right tools. I feel like it is an evolutionary challenge: "Are you clever enough to get the goodness that's inside me?" I take the challenge every chance I get. Here's a handy guide if you ever decide to have a go.

Step 1: Find a coconut. They won't look like those you see in the stores back home. They've got a big thick husk designed to make you feel inadequate. Try looking on a nice coconut palm lined beach. Plus, hey, you're on a beach!

Step 2: Find a couple of nice sharp rocks and start wailing on the thing. Be sure to try lots of approaches and angles because none of them works very well. And try not to smash your finger.

Step 3: Sweat...a lot. If this were easy, everyone would do it. Plus, there's a good chance you'll burn many more calories opening this stupid thing than what's contained inside, so you can write it off as today's exercise!

Step 4: Swear...a lot. Don't worry, that smashed finger will heal. Consider giving up. Because after all, you don't really like coconut and who is this "evolution" that's throwing the gauntlet anyway?

Step 5: Triumph! You've now gotten the husk off, half the battle. You deserve to take a selfie for instagram.

(Yes that was just half of the process. I never said it was going to be easy.)

Step 6: Now comes the delicate part, getting the nut open without spilling the delicious* water inside. If you had your trusty pocket knife, you'd just poke holes through the eyes on the end. But since we're going au natural, try a little more delicate smashy smashy.

Step 7: Drink and be merry! Totally worth it for that half cup of chunky water.

Step 8: Smashy smashy (again). Less care is needed this time around. Feel free to get out your aggression here. You showed that pesky evolution who's boss.

Step 9: Munch on the meat inside...for about 5 minutes until the novelty wears off or you get slightly sick of it. Chuck the rest into the underbrush. It doesn't keep well. Besides, it was all about the pursuit anyway.

Step 10: Head home for a nap. After all that work, you deserve it. On your way, consider grabbing a coconut ice cream and sit back and appreciate how much [of someone else's] work went into making it.

There you have it, a handy step by step guide to one of the most enjoyable rewarding satisfying activities the tropics have to offer.
Sunday December 14 2014File under: travel, Dominican Republic

Toggle Comments (1)comment?
on Mon 15th Dec, 2014 04:12 pm UTC Kat said:
You're ready for Survivor!
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